May 2013
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
2treehill:
lms if u remember in middle school when they changed the multiplication sign from x to •
richwhitelesbian:
we need some new and more powerful swears
garfielcl:
Instead of spreading your legs, spread the word of God! Praise
dampsandwich:
i was born wearing sunglasses
girlwhowasonfire:
I love tags it’s like muttering under your breath on the internet
lordfarsquaad:
When im dead my new email will be imnot@live.com
bulletbakas:
Ain’t no friendship like a friendship where you’re either confused as siblings or gay lovers
kushangel:
i just said hi to someone and they didn’t hear me i’m never trying that again
humanbaby:
please don’t ever call me cute i am attempting to be a goddess
metaphorically:
i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
2 tags
2 tags
elfi3:
here’s a fun fact get the fuck away from me
h0odrich:
*eats all the croutons out of a salad and pushes plate 5 feet away from me*
sardonicheight:
[[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]
meladoodle:
*prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’ “what?” haha owned you’re going to jail
tessaviolet:
peachofcake:
tessaviolet:
i’m tupac on the inside.
tupac is dead.
exactly.
crybabe:
wow you have the best taste in music
unzip ur pants
amoying:
im only attracted to people who aren’t attracted to me
karkaties:
if i lay here
if i just lay here
yep im just laying here
not gonna stop laying here
drunktrophywife:
you want me to follow back? Let me go ask my mom. She said no
icwok:
send me nudes and i’ll rate your parents’ disappointment
orgasmic-humor:
ok literally if you take 5 minutes to text me back I will take 6
1 tag
3 tags
zustin:
fuck a fake friend where ya real friends at *drake voice*
notahoe:
eyebrows can literally either make you or break you
illkim:
*throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change
daftpnk:
drinking doesnt make you cool
not drinking doesnt make you cool either
you know what makes you cool
having sex with me lets focus on that
superviolent:
feministd1rection:
There’s something about cocky men that makes me want to kiss them hard and then suck their egos out like a dementor sucks out a soul.
this about me
1 tag
1 tag
have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone that you can actually feel your heart rotting just because you know you’ll never get a chance with them
ofswaggys:
can u blacklist people in real life
that-stupid-tardis-sound:
one time i got bored in class so i drank 3 bottles of water and when my teacher asked me what i was doing i told him i was trying to drown myself
unative:
time goes by so fast when you’re avoiding homework
cokeflow:
my opinion is no
iheartfrenchi:
petition for you to not
rockmafias:
*kisses you* shut the fuck up u lil cunt
mattfoundglory:
the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
burntbypizza:
fabulous more like im fab, u less
earthnation:
people who have the same name as me are competition
“They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a...”
– Banksy (via cybergirlfriend)
hermseza:
If you talk smack about me, that’s one thing. If you talk smack about my family, that’s another thing. If you talk smack about George Lopez, that’s another thing. I don’t know where I’m going with this.
gay4zayn:
who’s that perfect boy over there
oh just me
jpierrepontcriss:
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
